Todays Rant: Blu Ray Movies

First off: YOU ARE READING THIS BLOG IN THE VOICE OF GILBERT GOTTFRIED!!!

Let's face it, the high def age is coming along nicely....gloriously even. Nothing like showing off your glorious little Blu Ray player or PS3 with your huge flat plasma screen to make a man feel better about themself. But where do we as a consumer draw the line with these Blu Ray movies? Let us delve deeper into this high definition madness!

Ok, ok I'll be honest, YES Blu Ray movies do look sexy on a nice flat screen, it's just WHAT you watch on that sexy flat screen. The problem now is there seem to be old movies out there that are being converted to a high def version of itself. I mean the original Rush Hour? Does Rush Hour really deserve to be put on Blu Ray high def? My opinion it should've just stayed on regular DVD but then again there are some people out there that can't get enough Black on Asian comedy...that's why they made two more! ^_^ High School Musical is another good example I would like to use. Pictures this, a mother and her two kids, who are huge HSM fans, walk down the movie aisle of the store. The kids get High School Musical on regular DVD, however the mother sees that the Blu Ray edition has TWO additional songs! She then goes and purchases the Blu Ray edition. Why? Because there's two additional songs and she gets to see what Vanessa Hudgens is really like.....................I wouldn't know what she's like, just thought I'd put it in there to make it sound like she's a real bad person but she's not.

Porn. Yes pornography has even made it on the high def scene. The question: Is this a good thing or a bad thing? YOU be the judge. Personally why the hell would you go out and purchase high def porn? (....if it had bloopers I'm sold <_<) Aside the point, watching porn in high def wouldn't make much of a difference than watching it on ye old computer screen. I can imagine how stoked the person watching it would be:

"WHOA 1080p jizz!!"
"Those orgasms are rockin' my surround system" (god help me if this happens v_v)
"It's like I'm totally there, doing her!"

Yes, not the kind of high def movie to watch EVER! (unless you're in a house all by yourself and the surround system is on LOW) Just remember, you can save yourself a lot of money buying high def porn if you knew how to look on the internet....I mean, that's what the internet was made for right? Am I right?

In conclusion Blu Ray movies are a welcome technology that gives us, the American People, something to drool over when we have that new system hooked up and you sit there and watch Die Hard. You can literally feel the glass shards and explosions tearing at your flesh....but in a good way though. Probably some of my favorite Blu Ray movies right now are:

In no particular order:

1. The Dark Knight
2. Watchmen (yeah, yeah blue wang I got that already <_<)
3. 300

One day I will sit down and watch the entire Planet Earth on Blu Ray....I'll be broke but it'd be so worth it! ^_^

/rant

1st Rant and it's to YOU G4!!!

G4, we hardly knew ye. You were once a great source of video game entertainment. From shows to Screen Savers, to Arena...(Hey I admit, the show was crappy but entertaining nontheless) and of course good ol' X-Play. Yes I remember the good times when Adam Sessler and Morgan Webb wore whatever the hell they wanted only to NOW be told what designer clothes to wear. It sucks ya know...

After watching this years G'Phoria, a lot of thoughts ran into my head: "I sure hope it isn't sponsored by Microsoft's Wallet." And to my surprise...AND shock it wasn't. Although I did find it weird how Fallout 3 won more awards than it should. I wasn't sure though if it meant if it was just Fallout 3 the game or if it included the expansions as well. If it did then it'd be a whole different story.

I am happy to see that Castle Crashers won an award (game is awsome btw) and find it hilarious how a game like Legendary went on to win a "Most likely to be a Uwe Boll movie." I'd figure that honor would go to X-Bladz or Onenchambra. Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars was bestowed an award (Best Handheld game) which is pretty cool. Killzone 2 took the award for Best Graphics and it damn well should....game is so freaking pretty to look at. Although I was let down when Street Fighter 4 didn't win any awards. :(

One last thing I wanna say are these horrible TV shows that are on G4 now are terrible...(Except you, Cops.) I mean we literally get like 4 hours Cheaters, 6 hours of Cops, 2 hours for some random movie that apparently DOESN'T SUCK and the occasional X-Play and Attack of the Show. For a channel devoted to video games, shouldn't there be...oh I don't know......MORE VIDEO GAMES!?!? I don't know about you but if I watched a show where it's known as the "Center of the Gaming Universe" I would like to know why that center sucks. If anybody finds the answer let me know because I AM DYING TO KNOW!

/rant